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I just cranked off a I just cranked off a nasty silent fart nasty silent fart my wife apologized to my wife apologized to me for it! me for it!
YES!
0
MY GF KICKS MY ASS IN MY GF KICKS MY ASS IN A VIDEO GAME A VIDEO GAME SHE THINKS I'M GOING SHE THINKS I'M GOING EASY EASY
My GF kicks my ass in a video game
+5
TOOK ALL FOUR KIDS OUT TOOK ALL FOUR KIDS OUT TO DINNER ON MY OWN TO DINNER ON MY OWN COMPLIMENTED ON HOW COMPLIMENTED ON HOW WELL-BEHAVED THEY WERE WELL-BEHAVED THEY WERE
The parents out there understand....
+15
GOT A MUSIC DEGREE GOT A MUSIC DEGREE GOT A MUSIC JOB GOT A MUSIC JOB
Success Kid...
+5
BOTH KIDS CAN WIPE BOTH KIDS CAN WIPE THEIR OWN BUTTS NOW THEIR OWN BUTTS NOW THAT IS ALL THAT IS ALL
As a single dad, this. is. amazing....
+12
ONE YEAR WITH NO DRUGS, NO ONE YEAR WITH NO DRUGS, NO ALCOHOL, NO CIGARETTES, NO ALCOHOL, NO CIGARETTES, NO SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, SUICIDE ATTEMPTS, AND I LOST 20 POUNDS. AND I LOST 20 POUNDS.
One year with no drugs, no alcohol, no cigarettes, no suicide attempts,
+13
REALIZE I'M TURNING REALIZE I'M TURNING INTO MY DAD INTO MY DAD HE'S FREAKING HE'S FREAKING AWESOME AWESOME
There are far worse role models....
+17
GOT MADE FUN OF FOR GOT MADE FUN OF FOR WEARING SUNSCREEN WEARING SUNSCREEN ONLY ONE OF MY FRIENDS WHO ONLY ONE OF MY FRIENDS WHO ISNT A LOBSTER RIGHT NOW ISNT A LOBSTER RIGHT NOW
Summertime Win...
+1
BECOME CLOSE FRIENDS BECOME CLOSE FRIENDS WITH A REALLY NICE GIRL WITH A REALLY NICE GIRL GET ASKED TO BE IN HER GET ASKED TO BE IN HER WEDDING PARTY WEDDING PARTY
As a girl who has never been good at being friends with other girls, This is huge for me...
+10
GOT PREGNANT IN HIGH GOT PREGNANT IN HIGH SCHOOL, THOUGHT MY LIFE SCHOOL, THOUGHT MY LIFE WAS OVER WAS OVER JUST GRADUATED COLLEGE, HAVE AN AMAZING JUST GRADUATED COLLEGE, HAVE AN AMAZING 12-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER, AN INCREDIBLE 12-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER, AN INCREDIBLE HUSBAND, AND MY LIFE COULDN'T BE BETTER HUSBAND, AND MY LIFE COULDN'T BE BETTER
Against the odds... I finally did it!...
+14
WALKED TO END OF WALKED TO END OF STREET AND BACK STREET AND BACK DIDN'T CONTRACT AIDS, OR GET HIT BY A DIDN'T CONTRACT AIDS, OR GET HIT BY A METEOR. DIDN'T GET STABBED IN THE FACE 3 METEOR. DIDN'T GET STABBED IN THE FACE 3 TIMES, ACQUIRE 7 CANCERS, OR LOSE FEELING TIMES, ACQUIRE 7 CANCERS, OR LOSE FEELING IN MY ELBOWS. MOST IMPORTANTLY, DIDN'T IN MY ELBOWS. MOST IMPORTANTLY, DIDN'T FALL TO THE GROUND IN THE FETAL POSITION FALL TO THE GROUND IN THE FETAL POSITION AND CRY FOR 9 HOURS. AND CRY FOR 9 HOURS.
walked to end of street and back
+9
JOGGED THREE MILES JOGGED THREE MILES TODAY TODAY NON-STOP NON-STOP
As a big guy trying to lose weight, this was a huge accomplishment......
+7
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